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What we cover:
00:00 – Choosing truth on my birthday
01:12 – Why I’m sharing this now
03:40 – Feeling trapped, alone & asking for help
06:00 – Discovering the root of my trauma
08:10 – Childhood sexual abuse revealed
12:00 – Narcissistic abuse & gaslighting explained
16:00 – Naming the truth & breaking silence
20:00 – Why victims stay silent
24:00 – Confrontation & reclaiming my power
32:30 – Choosing myself & affirmations
36:30 – Forgiveness, healing & final message
The following is a direct transcript from the episode, edited for readability without ChatGPT to preserve the speaker’s original voice, authentic phrasing and emotional storytelling.Daniela:
Hey beautiful soul, and welcome to the Sacred Style Podcast — a safe space where we get real and go deep to explore the intersection of modern spirituality, entrepreneurship, identity, and purpose.
Hosted by intuitive artist and entrepreneur Daniela West, join us as we explore the transformational journey of becoming more fully you: whole, healed, and human.
In this episode, I'm going to be sharing my very raw, honest, and vulnerable journey with experiencing childhood abuse. My intention is to not only raise awareness of its detrimental and multifaceted long-term impact, but to also spread a message of hope and empowerment as you watch me reclaim my power and break free from toxic cycles in real time.
I want you to know that healing is always possible and you do not have to live in victimhood and fear forever. No matter what you've been through, it is always possible to reclaim and rebuild your life. Sometimes, you just have to find the courage to step outside the box and ask for what you need. Most of all, I want you to know that you are so worthy of love, support, and community. Because true healing is not meant to occur all on your own.
I really hope my story can inspire you and help shine a light even in the darkest of places. You can support me and other survivors by subscribing, commenting, and sharing my story, and donating to my GoFundMe. Once we hit $5K in donations, I will be sending 20% of all proceeds to RAINN, the largest anti-sexual violence organization in the US, supporting survivors and working to prevent abuse. Most of all, I am so grateful for your help to support me and other survivors in rebuilding and reclaiming our lives with dignity, compassion, and hope. Thank you so much for joining me in this mission.
And now, here's my story.
This is going to be one of the most difficult stories I've ever shared publicly. This is going to be the most vulnerable and honest I have ever shown up in public. Today is my birthday. Yes, I'm an Aries. Today is my birthday, and I decided that the greatest gift I could give myself today is to tell the truth. It's to tell the full truth of who I am and what I've been through. And it's not an easy truth.
“This is a confession. This is a confession of how long I've been struggling. How long I've been carrying shame around who I am and what I endured as a child.
This is the true story of being a survivor of—trigger warning—I am a survivor of sexual and narcissistic abuse. Among many other types of abuse and neglect.”
—Daniela West
But, I really want to give myself the gift today of sharing my story. And why I want to share it with you today is because I'm asking for support. I've always been the type of person who is deeply empathetic, deeply compassionate, deeply concerned with how everybody else around me is feeling and what they need and how I can serve them, how I can help other people at any given time of the day.
But, because I've grown up my whole life so completely focused on other people, I have really struggled my entire life to believe that I'm worthy of the same level of support and love that I so easily give to others. And I need help. I have been living in Spain for the past two years and since last August (2025), my residency here expired. I have not had enough money to leave this country. And I want to leave. I don't want to live here illegally, but to be perfectly honest with you, I have not had enough money in my bank account. I've had such little income. I make like a few hundred dollars a month at the most. I have been running my own business, but the income has been so unpredictable and my bank account's been shrinking up.
And because I've been carrying such deep shame for so long thinking that I don't have it together, I don't want anyone to know how bad it's been, I don't want anyone to know how afraid I am, how alone I feel, how deeply unsupported I've been feeling in my life—for the last few years especially. I've been in a dark tunnel for many years, especially out here in Spain. I have no community out here. I have no close friends in this country. And I'm asking for support, especially for my birthday.
I've turned 38 today. It has taken me 38 years and at least 11 years of therapy to come to the realization that I am worthy of support. I am a worthy human being. I don't have to have everything figured out all the time. I am a human being just like everybody else. I'm allowed to make mistakes. I'm allowed to be imperfect. I'm allowed to be vulnerable. I'm worthy of receiving love and care and support and compassion and respect—everything that I so freely give to other people.
And I need your help.
I need help to to get out of this country. I need help to move. I have been feeling so trapped in this country, and the more you get consumed with fear, the more everything in your life starts to constrict—because that is the energy of fear.
Fear convinces you that you're a victim. Fear convinces you that you have no options, that it's shameful to be afraid, that it's shameful to feel what you're feeling. Fear convinces you that you're completely alone, that you're completely separate from other human beings, that nobody could ever possibly understand you, and that you just have to figure it out on your own.
But, I want to show up today to really claim how much of a lie that truly is.
So, my entire life, I've been consumed by a deep fear, a deep feeling of unworthiness. And after 11 years of therapy, I finally discovered the root of everything. I finally discovered the root of my story. I finally discovered this dark secret that I've been carrying inside my body, inside my memory, inside my soul.
The truth is, the secret I've discovered is that I was sexually abused before the age of 13 by, not one person in my family, but three. Three men in my family sexually abused me before the age of 13.
I thought of this quote last night—I wrote it down:
“If you give it a name, you dissolve the shame.”
—Daniela West
And because I've been so ashamed of being sexually abused as a child, I hid it even from myself. I hid these memories even from myself until about two months ago. January 26th, 2026 is when I really discovered this truth through many years of intense therapy. I finally found enough safety in my body to to let myself peel back that curtain of my past.
If you give it a name, you dissolve the shame.
So, I'm going to name what happened to me because we are in an era of humanity now where the truth is coming out. You're seeing this on the global stage. The truth of humanity is coming out. The darkness that has existed for eons, it's coming out.
And so, in my past, when I was seven years old—this man molested me. Yes, he did, in my own bedroom, when I was half asleep. He entered when I was half asleep. He began to molest me, and when it was done, he said, "This will just be our secret. Don't tell anybody. This is our secret."
When you're a child, all you know is unconditional love. So, you're going to believe them. You're going to trust them. And as a child, I never felt safe in my own home. There was so much violence. There was so much neglect. I didn't realize this until recently, but:
Photo of the host and author, Daniela West
“I spent my entire childhood making myself as invisible as possible. I spent my entire upbringing until I could leave home at 18 hiding literally hiding away in my room because every time I open that those doors, I was entering a battlefield.”
I didn't know what violence would be breaking out in my own home—if it was my dad, my mom, my stepmom, my mom's alcoholic disgusting ex-convict partner when I was a teenager. I had to share the house with very dangerous adults my entire upbringing, in two separate houses, after my parents divorced when I was 13.
This man was meant to protect me, to support me, as a child. But instead, he was actually the one I needed the most amount of protection from. This man has never loved me. This man has spent my entire life gaslighting me. This man is the ultimate covert narcissist. I would not be saying this now publicly if I didn't fully believe this, deep in my soul. It has taken me 37 years to fully come to terms with the truth— that the hell that I've endured, especially from this man—that is not love. That is not love.
When you go through sexual abuse, it is the most dehumanizing, degrading selfish act that you could do to another human being. When you feel entitled to somebody else's body, it is the most insidious thing you could do to another being.
Because once you do that, it's like you're injecting a poison, a poisonous parasite into their body, into their mind, into their soul.
It's like you are truly hijacking their soul.
Sexual abuse is the ultimate way for one human being to gain control and dominance and power over another. It's why I've spent my entire life feeling helpless, feeling powerless, feeling trapped, feeling deeply unsafe in this world and in most of my relationships. It is why I've spent my entire life completely skeptical and unsure who I could fully trust. Because, one of the people I was born to trust the most, turned out to be my biggest abuser of them all.
I've spent my entire life living in a type of Stockholm Syndrome because every interaction with this man resulted in feelings of questioning myself, feelings of doubting my capabilities as a human being, feelings of never being acknowledged for my feelings. Never, ever, being acknowledged for any feeling that I would express towards this man.
Every time I expressed myself in an honest way, I was completely ignored. I was completely denied. I was made to feel invisible by him my entire life. And anytime I confronted him about these things, I was completely gaslit. Our conversations always immediately twisted around to become about him and how he was somehow the victim in the story.
And this is a big point I want to make about narcissists because, yes, these are symptoms of interacting with a narcissist. No matter what you do to gain recognition as a valid, worthy human being, no matter what you do to gain love, genuine unconditional love from this type of person, they will always meet you in a way that twists the entire scenario to put them as both the hero and the victim at the same time.
Narcissists are deeply committed to their public image. They can do no wrong. Their sympathy, their empathy is completely false. If they ever show signs of it, it's just to keep you on the hook so they can continue to control you longer. So they can continue to look like the good person in the story, when really, you are the victim. You are their victim.
Because no matter what you do to gain love from people—abusers, like these three men in my family—who, all three of them sexually abused me as a child. One of them molested me at the age of 12. I was on a boat. We were on a boat together, a family trip. This man got me alone in one of the private bedrooms on that boat and molested me. Locked the door, trapped me, and molested me in there.
These events are so traumatic that I completely locked these memories away. I threw away the key. I left them in a dark room in the recess of my mind until now. But now, I'm speaking out. Because this is my truth. This is my story. And people like them, they won't get away with this. Sexual sexual predators have infested this planet.
And I'm talking directly to you now, motherf*ckers. If you're one of them listening—if you're a narcissistic abuser, a sexual abuser, a predator in any way—just know your time is coming. Because you can't hide from us forever.
People are waking up to this abuse. People are speaking out about this abuse. Because this level of abuse stole my life away, until now. This type of abuse made me believe I was a completely worthless human being. This level of abuse made me believe I had no worth whatsoever. That I wasn't worthy of actual love. That I wasn't worthy of support. That my voice wasn't worthy of being heard. That I had no power. That I was just a victim, and that I would always be a victim, and that I would always need to return to my abusers as a source of love—as a source of validation—in the hopes that one day, they would wake up and recognize my worth. That one day, they would wake up and actually realize they love me. Because I'm an amazing person.
This type of abuse led me to believe until now that I couldn't speak out because I had to protect them. That is the crazy, twisted thing about this type of abuse is that when it happens to you, you somehow believe you need to protect your abuser. Because if you speak out about it, you might get in trouble for what they did to you.
And why do we think that? Because it implants such a deep level of shame. That somehow—there was this smallest part of me as an innocent child—there was a small part of me that believed somehow I deserved it.
Somehow it must have been my fault that grown adult men would view me as desirable, would view me as sexy—a child—that these grown men were attracted to me in a sexual way.
These men are perverts. These men are pedophiles. And there are so many of them in this world as we're coming to find out with the Epstein files. This sh*t has been going on forever.
And more and more people are speaking out.
“Because the longer people like me carry this deep amount of shame for what was done to them, the longer people like these men can get away with it.”
How can we keep allowing them to just get away with it? We cannot stay silent about this anymore.
And if you are a victim of abuse, especially sexual abuse, I want you to know you're not alone. I want you to know this is more common than I thought. This is a rampant global poison that has infested humanity for eons. And I want you to know this is not your fault. This was never your fault. This was never your fault.
I'm telling you everything that I wish someone told me when I was a little girl.
But I didn't tell a soul. I was terrified to tell a soul.
And so what happened to me? What happened to me since since these instances of sexual abuse? I've kept my mouth shut my entire life. I developed scoliosis at the age of 14. My back literally started to twist. My spine started to twist because I felt so unsupported by those who claim to love me. I felt so invisible. My body would literally hunch over like that because it was trying to protect me from further harm.
I was literally trapped in a prison cell with my biggest abuser. With three of my biggest abusers in my family system. Home—family—it all became a prison.
And these instances all put me in such a state of victimhood without me even realizing it. What does victimhood do? It convinces you that you can never do any better than what what's been given to you as a child. It convinces you that somehow that's all you're worthy of having, of being, of experiencing. It convinces you that you need to spend the rest of your life feeling small, making yourself as invisible as possible just to survive and just to be safe because it's extremely dangerous to let yourself shine. It convinces you that it's extremely dangerous to let yourself be seen as your true self because look what happened to me as a child before I was afraid.
This is what victimhood convinced me. That I had to remain in that state, in that mentality, my entire life. That I could never strive for more. That I could never truly be loved. That I could never receive the support that I was so desperate to receive as a kid. That I could never share my voice. I could never share the story. Because it was too dangerous. Because the abusers wouldn't like it. Because then they would lose control over me.
Photo of the host and author, Daniela West
If you are a victim of abuse, know that—yes, you were a victim of abuse, but you do not have to stay a victim. That's what I want to share with you. You do not have to stay a victim, feeling powerless, feeling invisible, feeling stuck, and feeling unsupported.
There are people in this world who genuinely love you. They want to love you. They want to know the truth. They have the capacity to receive it. I'm so grateful I was able to share this truth with some of my friends recently because it changed everything for me. I suddenly realized there are people in this world who love me. There are people who have the capacity to hold space with compassion, to receive this information without judgment. There are people in this world who genuinely know how to love unconditionally.
And do you know what truly set me free from this pain? It wasn't just opening up and sharing my story with with those who love me. It was also finally coming to terms with the fact that the one person in this world I've been unconsciously trying to get love from the most—aka my biggest abuser—what truly set me free was realizing recently that he never loved me. He never loved me.
Because that is not love.
That will never be love as long as that behavior continues, as long as lack of recognition of the toxicity of that behavior continues, as long as people like him refuse to take genuine accountability for their actions. I actually confronted the man, which was the bravest thing I have ever done in my entire life, besides making this video. I confronted this man. Laid it all out on the table, described the exact scene of the memory that I've recovered.
And do you know what the response was? Complete gaslighting. The response was that there was no way such a good person like him would ever be capable of something like that. The response was, “Maybe your perception is off. Maybe there's something questionable about your therapist's methods.”
Huh.
If you're someone like me who has ever received a response like this—that the problem is not with them and their actions, but the problem lies with your perception, with how you've reached this conclusion, I want you to know this is some narcissistic gaslighting bullsh*t.
Don't ever let somebody make you question your perception. Do not ever let another human being question your perception.
I have been working 11 years in therapy, I’ve had multiple spiritual awakenings, I have finally regained a deep connection to my own body, to my own spirit, to my own voice and my intuition. I completely trust what my body, my intuition, and my memory have all revealed to me.
I told that motherf*cker, “This is not a question of my perception. This is not a question of my therapist's methods.
This is a question of the truth. I know what you did to me. Don't you dare cause me to question my perception, because that’s bullsh*t, and you know it.”
This is the problem with narcissistic behavior. It is designed to keep you questioning your reality. It is designed to keep you questioning your own perception, your own truth.
Because if you can't even trust yourself, who are you going to turn to then for the truth? If someone causes you to question yourself, you're going to start believing their perception.
That's the whole narcissistic game. And I am done outsourcing my perception, my truth, my voice, my clarity to anybody outside of myself.
I'm sharing this story because this is what it looks like to finally reclaim your power.
My power was stolen from me, from abusers who can sit at the dinner table, long after the act was done to me, and pretend absolutely nothing happened. And pretend that they love me. That they support me. That they want the best for me.
Bullsh*t. That is not love.
If you are somebody who has ever experienced a human with this behavior, I want you to know that is not love. That is abuse. And this is the journey of what it looks like to reclaim your power. The reason I am asking for support, specifically financial support from this video, is because before I realized the incredible amount of psychological and emotional damage done to me—with no remorse, with no accountability—before I realized this, he was the the biggest source of financial support for me in the last few years.
I started struggling financially in the last few years, around COVID. And for once in my life, I turned to this man to to start helping support me financially. Before that, I was so appalled at the idea of accepting money from him because we never had a strong relationship. I refused, until I really entered a desperate place. And he was willing.
“But I've come to realize that accepting money from an abuser who refuses to take accountability, it's like making a deal with the devil.”
I have $300 in my bank account as I'm sharing this message. But I've finally reached my limit. I don't care how low my bank account gets. I cannot go back to that man. I cannot keep making a deal with the devil for a quick Band-Aid solution—just for some money.
Because it was never money I wanted from this man. It was just love. It was love. Love in the sense that this person finally acknowledges who I am as a human being. That this person finally acknowledges that I have real feelings, that I have actual needs, that I deserve to be heard, that accountability is the name of the game.
But there is none.
I am done dealing with a demon who refuses to take any accountability for this incredible amount of trauma and damage and lies and deception. I will not allow myself to go back to any abuser in the hopes that they may one day love me.
And so I'm asking for financial help. Because when you're involved with someone who's abused you, it's very hard to recognize the psychological and emotional long-term effects that it's really having on your life. But I'm acknowledging it now.
“I can never fully be free. I can never fully thrive as long as I'm allowing myself to have a connection of any sort with someone like that because every time—not just me—every time we, victims of abuse, go back to the abuser and allow them to interact with us in any way, we are sending a message that we excuse their behavior.”
We are sending a message that "Well, you ruined my life and abused me repeatedly since I was a child and completely invalidated who I am as a human being for many decades, but I'm still going to allow you to interact with me in the hopes that maybe one day you will love me.
Maybe one day I'll get that validation from you in some way, shape, or form.
One day those breadcrumbs that you leave me with will actually turn into the full meal….one day.
The day I woke up to the truth that that man, and people like him, they will never love me. That is not unconditional love, and I'm done with the breadcrumbs, and there's got to be another way to get the support that I need…that's the day I freed myself.
And this is the greatest gift anyone can give themselves.
Choose you.
Choose you, and that's what I'm doing. I am choosing me. I am choosing me, fully.
And I want you to repeat after me. Let's do this together. Put your hand on your heart to support yourself. If you have your other hand free, put it on your belly to fully support yourself.
Let's take a deep breath.
I want you to to to repeat after me:
I am worthy of unconditional love.
I am worthy of unconditional support.
I am worthy of receiving support without judgment.
I am worthy of receiving the same level of dignity, respect, and love that I freely give to others.
I am a worthy human being just by existing.
And I am worthy of asking for help.
So, the last lesson I want to leave you with, if you're still with me, it's my lessons on forgiveness.
I've come to realize that forgiveness is both given when earned.
In order to earn someone's forgiveness, you have to be willing to recognize, truly recognize and acknowledge the damage you have done to them. It's not enough just to offer a blanket apology.
For example, "I'm sorry for whatever I did that upset you. I'm sorry if you think I did that. I'm sorry—I have no memory of that—but if I did it, I'm sorry." No, that's not good enough. That is false accountability. That is false remorse. I have come to recognize the difference.
There is no sincerity in vague, blanket apologies.
To be worthy of receiving forgiveness by the person you harmed, you need to be willing to take full accountability for your actions without excuses and without justifying them. You need to truly acknowledge the damage that was done, and that requires compassion and a level of empathy, to truly be willing to put yourself in that other person's shoes, to put yourself in the shoes of the person you hurt through your actions, regardless of the circumstances that led to those actions.
That is what is worthy of forgiveness.
And not everybody has that capacity or even the willingness to get to that point in the journey.
I know there's a saying, "Forgiveness will set you free." But I have another point to make on that.
I do not forgive my abusers, because they have done nothing to deserve my forgiveness. There's no acknowledgement of a shared reality in which they actually did the actions I know they did. Without that acknowledgement from the abuser, they don't deserve my forgiveness. Absolutely not.
But do you know who deserves your forgiveness? You. The victim of abuse. You are the one you need to forgive first and foremost.
I cannot control anybody's actions. I cannot demand an apology. I cannot demand that they actually recognize the truth of what I'm saying. I cannot demand that they remember what I remember. I cannot demand anything.
Which has been a really hard truth.
But please, forgive yourself. Forgive yourself for believing that you were somehow worthy of that abuse. Forgive yourself for believing you couldn't do any better than that. Forgive yourself for believing that it was somehow your fault. Because it never was. It never was. It was never your fault.
“That's who I'm forgiving. I am truly forgiving the version of myself who believed she somehow deserved the abuse that was done to her.
Absolutely not.
That's who I am releasing. That's who I'm freeing. That's who I'm forgiving, and that is truly what brings me a sense of peace.”
So, if you are still listening, even if you are able to donate a dollar, [laughter] you know, anything helps, truly. I am so grateful for any penny that you'd be willing to give and to help me get out of a really difficult, dark hole that I've been in because I'm I'm ready to start over. I'm ready to start a new life. I'm ready to be free from the traumas of my past. I'm ready to live in a more honest, truthful way. I'm ready to reclaim my life.
Thank you so much for listening. Please share this message with anybody who could relate to my story because the world needs more honesty. The world needs more accountability. The world needs more balance and redemption.
And this is my redemption.
I don't seek vengeance. I seek redemption. I seek the ultimate redemption, which is simply to be happy, simply to be supported, and simply to be loved.
So, thank you for listening.
Thank you so much for tuning in to today's episode. Do not forget to like, share, and subscribe if you're new here. It really means a lot to help grow the channel and impact more beautiful souls like you. And remember, keep flowing and growing, my friend. I will see you in the next episode. Goodbye.
DISCLAIMER: THE CONTENT SHARED IN THIS ARTICLE IS FOR ENTERTAINMENT AND INFORMATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY AND DOES NOT CONSTITUTE PROFESSIONAL ADVICE, NOR SHOULD IT BE USED AS A SUBSTITUTE FOR MEDICAL, LEGAL, PSYCHOLOGICAL, OR FINANCIAL COUNSEL. PLEASE CONSULT A HEALTH CARE PROVIDER FOR GUIDANCE SPECIFIC TO YOUR CASE. THIS ARTICLE DISCUSSES NARCISSISTIC AND SEXUAL ABUSE IN GENERAL. THE ARTICLE DOES NOT REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AND SHOULD NOT BE USED TO REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AS HAVING NARCISSISM OR BEING GULTY OF ANY FORM OF ABUSE. PERMISSION IS NOT GRANTED TO LINK TO OR REPOST THIS VIDEO IN ORDER TO SUPPORT AN ALLEGATION THAT THE MAKERS OF THIS ARTICLE BELIEVE, OR SUPPORT A CLAIM, THAT A SPECIFIC PERSON IS A NARCISSISTIC AND/OR A SEXUAL ABUSER. THAT WOULD BE AN UNAUTHORIZED MISUSE OF THE ARTICLE AND THE INFORMATION FEATURED IN IT. BY READING AND/OR VIEWING THIS CONTENT, YOU AGREE THAT YOU ARE FULLY RESPONSIBLE FOR YOUR OWN DECISIONS AND ACTIONS. THIS BRAND (DANIELA WEST) MAKES NO GUARANTEES ABOUT OUTCOMES AND MAY NOT BE HELD LIABLE FOR ACTIONS TAKEN BASED ON THIS CONTENT.
About Daniela West
Daniela West is a heart-led thought leader, storyteller, entrepreneur, survivor, personal brand expert and designer, intuitive artist, singer-songwriter, poet, coach, creative director, educator, emerging author, and host of The Sacred Style Podcast.
With an international master's degree in Nonprofit Management & Organizational Leadership, her work sits at the intersection of identity, artistry, healing, and systemic transformation—guiding individuals and communities to reclaim their power, transform trauma into purpose, and become more whole, healed, and human along the way.
❤︎ LET'S CONNECT ❤︎
✨Website: https://danielawest.com/
✨YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@ItsDanielaWest
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✨LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/daniela-west/
To work with me 1-1, I offer semi-custom web design in under one week with my signature service, The Soul Site Service.
I also offer 1:1 brand blueprint coaching harnessing the power of astrology to clarify how to brand and market yourself using your unique natural blueprint.
On my Substack, you’ll find all the raw, vulnerable, emotional content that I don’t share anywhere else. Poetry, personal essays, channeled messages, diary letters and musings on spirituality, shadow work, transformation. I write about self, soul, & society to help you rewrite your script on being human.
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What happens when burnout, emotional heaviness, and feeling disconnected from your purpose finally push you toward transformation? In this deeply vulnerable episode of the Sacred Style Podcast, host Daniela West sits down with astrologer, alignment practitioner, and spiritual guide Melanie Martinez to explore kundalini activation, spiritual awakening, astrology, somatic healing, intuition, and reclaiming your authentic self.
Melanie shares her journey from the corporate world into spiritual work, while Daniela opens up about experiencing burnout, depression, lack of purpose, and the life-changing kundalini activation session that reignited her creativity, confidence, and passion for her business.
Together, they discuss astrology, human design, somatic breathwork, energy healing, spiritual misconceptions, surrender, free will, intuition, and how spiritual modalities can support healing and alignment when approached safely and intentionally.
If you’ve been feeling stuck, uninspired, disconnected from yourself, or curious about kundalini energy and spiritual transformation, this conversation is for you.
In this episode, you’ll learn how healing modalities can help unlock clarity, confidence, purpose, creativity, and soul-aligned direction in both life and business.